What Jan said has also reminded me of what another enlightened being said - "When faced with a situation, first face it, accept it, deal with it, and let it go."
Beautiful post, Cara. Feeling all warm and fuzzy after reading it. Definitely will seek out Jan's book. Question for you: why do you think your practice changed over time?
Thanks! Good question. I could point a finger at all the Western Insight tradition I've been steeped in and its emphasis on formal meditation, retreat practice, and monasticism as being the ideal, most efficient way of practicing. I could also point at our culture of achievement and hard work, and a popular belief that we have to work hard to earn the best things in life. But all of it boils down to my own mind, as usual, and this human tendency to stay in habit and not easily shift into a new paradigm - one of embodied presence in the moment rather than habitual straining and thinking our way out of problems.
Very insightful, Cara. Meanwhile I feel like I've been floundering in mindfulness/Buddhism limbo for years now without adhering to a particular tradition or routine. Some combination of keeping my options open and not knowing really where to start (and a sprinkle of laziness). But, based on what you're saying, maybe not an entirely bad thing if it's kept me from getting too rigid about it all. The question then is: how does one find a 'middle way' between floundering and rigidity?
I'm sure it varies from person to person, but one approach I have to this for myself is getting curious about what's going on for me when I'm finding myself on one side of the spectrum or the other. Of course it's great when we can find a balance between these two, but we're not lost or off course if we're on one end or the other. Lots to learn about trust, compassion, don't-know mind. So curiosity is very helpful. When I'm floundering or feeling lazy, one thing I like to ask myself is "what feels good about this?" This can help me let go of some of the self-judgment and fully land in the experience, and start to also include what isn't feeling good about it.
On your recommendation, I started reading 'When Fear Falls Away' and already came across a helpful passage that speaks directly to my overwhelm about the many ways to "do" Buddhism/mindfulness:
"All authentic spiritual teachers have one essential truth to convey:
Underlying apparent reality is a plane of pure consciousness, a condition of unwavering peacefulness. Each teacher has a characteristic way of embodying this truth—in words, ritual, practice. The form of these embodiments, for a given teacher, may be influenced by the spiritual or cultural traditions out of which they have arisen. But they are all roads to the same place.
Seekers may be offered a range of practices, various modes of access to the underlying reality. Any mode will do. Any one that succeeds is sufficient; they need not all be mastered. But to the earnest seeker, the multiplicity of teachers and practices can cause the spiritual journey to look much more complicated than it needs to. The message is forever simple; only its expression is multifaceted."
I'm glad this is speaking to you! Yes part of why Jan is so inspiring to me is that she breaks the boundaries of any one spiritual tradition and thus opens the path wider for exploration and uniqueness.
I greatly appreciate the question, "What feels good about this?" Reminds me of Pema Chodron's encouragement to inquire about our habitual activities, "Is this supporting my happiness?" (could substitute happiness with "wellbeing," or "contentment"). Thank you!
Thank you for starting your Substack. I’ve listened to you on Dan Harris & loved your interviews (breakfast tacos) & guided meditations & replayed them several times. Today’s post is exactly what I need. I almost have it memorized! ❤️
I have an online support group (Musashi Book Club) with 2 other long term friends. I sent them a screenshot of this and then, one of the group sent it to another group. They’d been talking about equanimity and a guy in the second group showed him your post as a way to explain to his wife what he was feeling. My buddy wrapped up our chat with “I’ve been Unfuckwithable for the last month.”.
Hey Craig! Ah, it's unlikely we'll be offering the whole thing virtually, but we're brainstorming ideas for making recordings of the retreat available afterwards. I'll let you know if that ends up happening.
Treasure the guided meditation (an approach I'd not heard before). Deeply valuable. Thank you!
This post made me happy.
What Jan said has also reminded me of what another enlightened being said - "When faced with a situation, first face it, accept it, deal with it, and let it go."
That last part is the hardest.
yes - I actually wonder if that last part just happens by itself when the other three come to completion.
That is true. Thanks.
Beautiful post, Cara. Feeling all warm and fuzzy after reading it. Definitely will seek out Jan's book. Question for you: why do you think your practice changed over time?
Thanks! Good question. I could point a finger at all the Western Insight tradition I've been steeped in and its emphasis on formal meditation, retreat practice, and monasticism as being the ideal, most efficient way of practicing. I could also point at our culture of achievement and hard work, and a popular belief that we have to work hard to earn the best things in life. But all of it boils down to my own mind, as usual, and this human tendency to stay in habit and not easily shift into a new paradigm - one of embodied presence in the moment rather than habitual straining and thinking our way out of problems.
Very insightful, Cara. Meanwhile I feel like I've been floundering in mindfulness/Buddhism limbo for years now without adhering to a particular tradition or routine. Some combination of keeping my options open and not knowing really where to start (and a sprinkle of laziness). But, based on what you're saying, maybe not an entirely bad thing if it's kept me from getting too rigid about it all. The question then is: how does one find a 'middle way' between floundering and rigidity?
I'm sure it varies from person to person, but one approach I have to this for myself is getting curious about what's going on for me when I'm finding myself on one side of the spectrum or the other. Of course it's great when we can find a balance between these two, but we're not lost or off course if we're on one end or the other. Lots to learn about trust, compassion, don't-know mind. So curiosity is very helpful. When I'm floundering or feeling lazy, one thing I like to ask myself is "what feels good about this?" This can help me let go of some of the self-judgment and fully land in the experience, and start to also include what isn't feeling good about it.
On your recommendation, I started reading 'When Fear Falls Away' and already came across a helpful passage that speaks directly to my overwhelm about the many ways to "do" Buddhism/mindfulness:
"All authentic spiritual teachers have one essential truth to convey:
Underlying apparent reality is a plane of pure consciousness, a condition of unwavering peacefulness. Each teacher has a characteristic way of embodying this truth—in words, ritual, practice. The form of these embodiments, for a given teacher, may be influenced by the spiritual or cultural traditions out of which they have arisen. But they are all roads to the same place.
Seekers may be offered a range of practices, various modes of access to the underlying reality. Any mode will do. Any one that succeeds is sufficient; they need not all be mastered. But to the earnest seeker, the multiplicity of teachers and practices can cause the spiritual journey to look much more complicated than it needs to. The message is forever simple; only its expression is multifaceted."
I'm glad this is speaking to you! Yes part of why Jan is so inspiring to me is that she breaks the boundaries of any one spiritual tradition and thus opens the path wider for exploration and uniqueness.
I greatly appreciate the question, "What feels good about this?" Reminds me of Pema Chodron's encouragement to inquire about our habitual activities, "Is this supporting my happiness?" (could substitute happiness with "wellbeing," or "contentment"). Thank you!
Thank you for that beautiful meditation. I did it the 2nd time at the ocean with the breaking waves as a backdrop.
that sounds lovely, Gen :)
Thank you for sharing, Cara! Much needed and so refreshing 🙏💕
Thank you for starting your Substack. I’ve listened to you on Dan Harris & loved your interviews (breakfast tacos) & guided meditations & replayed them several times. Today’s post is exactly what I need. I almost have it memorized! ❤️
Ah, thanks for sharing this. It means a lot!
Love this term. And we need merch! @Dan Harris
I have an online support group (Musashi Book Club) with 2 other long term friends. I sent them a screenshot of this and then, one of the group sent it to another group. They’d been talking about equanimity and a guy in the second group showed him your post as a way to explain to his wife what he was feeling. My buddy wrapped up our chat with “I’ve been Unfuckwithable for the last month.”.
Thanks for sharing your gifts (and terms), Cara.
Courtney, I love this!! Thanks for sharing.
Great job bestie 🌻
Very interesting Cara. I remember when you were going to visit her. I would love to take part if the session can also be offered virtually. Be well!
Hey Craig! Ah, it's unlikely we'll be offering the whole thing virtually, but we're brainstorming ideas for making recordings of the retreat available afterwards. I'll let you know if that ends up happening.
Recordings of the retreat would be greatly appreciated.